January Wrap-Up

Well January, it's time to part ways. We laughed. We cried. We saved. $283.50 to be exact. While this is significantly less than my original January goal (see set backs and missteps 1-3 below), it's $283.50  more than I would have otherwise saved. And if I happen to have 11 similar less than stellar months in 2014, I will have saved $3,402. Now that number isn't so shabby. $3,402 can buy many, many handbags . . . or a little piece of mind. Strangely, I'm starting to think that I'd actually like the piece of mind more than a new piece of black leather with gold-toned hardware.

Time out. What is happening to me?! Am I actually becoming a saver? Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Unfortunately for my carefree spending habits, however, I do feel compelled to continue this painful paper experiment into next month. So while I won't be reporting every week on my life in Lincolns, know that I will be imperfectly carrying on with my cash diet. At least through February.

Here is my final January report card: Cash Diet Challenge: B-, not terrific, not terrible. January yoga total: 17 classes! I doubled my goal of attending 8 classes this month, which puts me way ahead of schedule. I may have to re-evaluate my 100 class goal if I maintain this pace.

January, it's been real. February let's go local.

What I'm Downdoggin' To: Burn by Ellie Goulding

Down dog it. Up dog it. Do you, boo.

Party Like it's Your (Grandma's) Birthday

Happy birthday to my Grandma, a very Unique Highly Sensitive Person. What is a Unique Highly Sensitive Person, you ask? You may want to ask Google. And you may want to ask Google about "feeling uncomfortable on your birthday." That's what my Grandma did. What she discovered is that she is a Highly Sensitive Person. And that there are other Highly Sensitive Persons also feeling uncomfortable on their birthdays. Some of them even blog about it and put their high sensitivity on display for all of the Internets to see. This is seems a little counter-intuitive to me, but maybe it's like some kind of therapy. Like aversion therapy, but the opposite.

Highly Sensitive Persons aside, here's how I did this week. After my trip down the TJ Maxx rabbit hole last week, I started the week with my resolve stronger than ever. But by Friday, my mood was tanked due to a particularly stressful week at work, poor sleeping patterns (confirmed by my Jawbone), and application disappointment. Despite my best effort to convince myself that this episode of professional rejection was for the best, I was still disappointed that I had gotten my hopes up and my application was not permitted to pass through the pearly gates manned by the selection committee. I sought comfort in the warm welcoming glow of the Maxx. I know what you're thinking, Wha?! Wasn't this the birthplace of this week's shame spiral? Yes. But unlike last week, I came in prepared. Ish. I'm not going to lie, I walked in intending to shop for my Grandma, and left with three items for me. But, come on, on the real tip, you know you do that too. So I left the store with my wallet about $100 lighter. But unlike last week, I paid in cash. And it hurt. Counting out the bills for the cashier, I was barely able to resist the urge to pull the bills back from her and return them to my yellow Rebecca Minkoff. I think I just may be growing as a person. Damn.

Here are my grades: Cash Diet Challenge: B. I faced my tempter and almost resisted temptation. Almost. TJ Maxx, why can't I quit you?!!!
Yoga: 3 classes due to extreme hiking-related sore calves. This brings my monthly total to 14. So far I am killing the yoga challenge. My friend Jorts says that if I actually want to see any of my unhappy lawyer weight detach itself from my hips, I need to quit the "sauna stretching" and do some cardio. Spoken like a true hot vinyasa flow virgin. My hot vinyasa flow class burns about 590 calories in 60 minutes. Check that, runnerboy.

What I'm Running To: All Eyes on You by St. Lucia

Full Disclosure: I'm actually not running to this song right now. Because I'm not actually running. In related news, you know what's deceptive? Hiking. Hiking is a liar. It seems like it should be easy and meditative because its WALKING. Guess what? 3.6 miles uphill is not walking. That's a death march. And now I can't pick up my legs. If, however, I wasn't clunking around like Shrek, I would be running, and I would be running to this song. Because it's awesome.



If you're now seriously deja vu'ing, and not sure why, you've probably heard this song in the first trailer for HBO's new comedy, Looking. 

Oops, I did it again.

I had a cash diet cheat meal. Like a major cash diet cheat meal. Like a full-on-cheese-enchalada-combo-with-refried-beans-and-rice-and-a-basket-of-chips-with-guacamole-and-a-large-blended-margarita-or-two cheat meal. Oops, I did it again. I'm not that innocent. Cash diet blown. Here's how it went down:

I got paid on Friday. Rather than finalize my budget and promptly transfer my savings money into, you know, my savings, I spent the day running around like a chicken with her head cut off. I spent Saturday in the office, alternately working and feeling sorry for myself for working on a Saturday. My Sunday plans included buying yeast for the bagels I was planning to make, investing in a new tube of mascara, and writing about how well I was doing on my cash diet. Then I had an idea. I would just pop into the Maxx (that's TJ Maxx for those of you who aren't in the know) and take a look around on my way to Sprouts. Just a look. Just for a second. Just to see what was new.

And just like that I was sucked in. Like an overeater who just needs one more bite of cheesecake. Just one more scoop of the Ben & Jerrys. Just one more potato chip. I had a handbag on my shoulder, a pair of black pointy-toe flats in my hand, and three tops and a pair of silk pants slung over my arm in less than 45-minutes. If shopping is my crack, the Maxx is definitely my dealer. And deal it did. Long story short, I decided to tempt fate. And I decided to do it without my cash and without a plan.What I have to show for it is several cute tops, a pair of silk pants, a pair of black pointy-toe flats, and a guilty conscience.

As a drove away from the store, I felt bloated and overindulged. I was confused. I had been so good for over two weeks. I deserved a treat, right? But instead of feeling like I had rewarded myself for a job well done, I felt like I had floated farther away from the goals I had set just over two weeks ago. Could my budget handle the overindulgence? Yes. Did I want it to? No. For the first time I could remember, no part of me felt satisfied. Just guilty. But what I could do? I realized that I had three choices: I could turn around, walk back into the store, and get my money back. I could beat myself up about it. Or I could enjoy the items that I had purchased and climb back on the wagon.

So I went home, hung my new items in my closet, and took another look at my budget. I transferred less money than I was intending into my savings account, but my resolve is stronger now than it was two weeks ago. I know now that I wouldn't have spent so much money at the Maxx if I had had to hand over cash rather than swipe my debit card. Handing over my hard-earned Lincolns really does feel different; more deliberate, more painful, than it does to use my debit card. And maybe that was the lesson I needed to learn this week.

So here are this week's grades: Cash Diet Challenge: Monday-Saturday: A. Sunday: D+.
Yoga: 3 Classes this week. This brings my monthly yoga total to 11 classes, which puts me over my monthly goal of 9 classes. Grade: A+.

And because today I got lost in the game, oh bay-by, bay-be, here's a pre-breakdown breakthrough Britney:

What I'm Running To: Happy by Pharrell Williams

I often feel like room without a roof. If you do too, you should clap along. Strap on your shoes and run along, if you're so moved. I dare you.

Show Me the Money

Personal finance experts may disagree on whether you should save for retirement before you pay off your credit cards, and if you should pay off the credit card with the smallest balance to build momentum or if you should pay off the card with the highest interest rate first, but nearly all experts, down to the woman, say that if you want to see your savings grow, you should live your life in cash. 

I have long considered my finances to be my Achilles heel. On bad day, I would rather buy a new bottle of perfume than drown my sorrows in Ben and Jerrys. Good for my hips, bad for my wallet. Especially when a bad day turns into a bottle of perfume, and a new tube of mascara, and a new yoga mat and a handbag. While I no longer live beyond my means, I have allowed one too many bad days to prevent me from establishing a solid emergency savings. Hence, my cash only challenge. If it's more painful to hand over cash than to swipe my plastic, then come on, baby, make it hurt so good. 

Here are the rules: I can use my card or write a check for the following items only--bills, gas, medical appointments. All other items must be paid for in cash. If I make an online purchase, I can use my card (largely because the Internets may take American Express, but they don't take George Washingtons), but I must promptly deposit the cash I spent on the purchase into the nearest ATM. 

Here's how I did: Week 1 (and a half): I took out $300 for two weeks. I also bought gas. And paid a bill. Or two. Here's what I have left: $121. I did buy a hamsa necklace on Etsy for $68.50 (gotta ward off the evil eye and manifest good fortune for the year ahead, yo), and I contemplated transferring the money from my savings account into my checking account. I mean, no one would know, right? 

You're only cheating yourself, a little voice whispered. 

Shut the hell up, I responded. Okay. I slipped. It happened. I'm over it. Are you? Good. 

Week 1.5 Score: Ok. I did ok. Not a complete success. Not a total failure. 

Number of Yoga Classes Attended: 8. 

   

Shame = Spiderman?

Last week, Discover Magazine told us what we already knew: feeling happy makes you glow, feeling depressed makes you blue, and feeling ashamed makes you . . . Spiderman?

Next time you feel your spidey senses tingling, check your emotional state. You may be going down a shame spiral. Interested in reading more about the science of emotion? Here's the link to the Discover article.

In the Beginning

"Don't dance around the perimeter of the person you want to be. Dive fully and deeply into it." -Gabrielle Bernstein

The Background: I want something I've never had, so I've decided to do something I've never done. 12 somethings I've never done. One new challenge per month. 365 days in a year. 365 chances to get it right.

The Plan: Every month I'll take a different step out of my comfort zone and chart my progress. Some steps will be baby steps. Some steps will be giant leaps of discomfort. Every step will (hopefully) carry me closer to who I am meant to be. I have two year-round tasks: attend at least 100 yoga classes, and write at least three posts per week on my project. If, at the end of each month, my monthly challenge has netted a positive change, I can continue to hone that skill in the months that follow. If the challenge doesn't suit my lifestyle or proves too difficult for me to keep up, I can abandon it at the end of the month.

The Schedule: What I'm doing and When I'm doing It:

January: Money Matters: My Life in Cash.
February: If it Grows in da 'Hood, Eat It: Becoming a Localist
March: A Picture Speaks a Thousand Words: My Life in Photographs
April: Footloose and Facebook Free: Social Media Free Weekends
May: And the Yogi Goes "Om": Meditation for Dummies
June: Write like A Mother: Short Stories and Poems and Essays, Oh My!
July: Upside Down: Master a Headstand
August: Roam Where you Want to: Exploring the Unknown
September: Book Club: A Book a Week
October: Dear John: Reviving the Lost Art of Letter Writing
November: The Gift: Paying it Forward and Paying it Back
December: Fin: Wrapping it Up.

2014, bring it.